For as long as it takes

I went to the sea with my friends, Aboud and Moaz, but I couldn't connect with it. I don't think I can feel the pleasure of being by the sea anymore.

I had a strange, unfamiliar feeling there. I felt completely isolated, from everything and everyone. I kept thinking about how people still have the energy to walk, talk, connect, to live normally, while I feel so drained that even the simplest act of living feels heavy. It's like being paralyzed in spirit, unable to feel like a person.

I was completely silent, just staring at the sea, trying to imagine the life beyond it. But I couldn't form any clear images in my mind.

It's not fear anymore. It's something else, this loss of interest, of pleasure, even in being myself. And I can't see past it.

It's no longer about comfort or happiness. It's about staying sane for as long as I can.

For as long as it takes.