I used to think it was easy to distinguish between someone who is simply sad and someone who is seriously ill. But that line is becoming confusing. In moments when multiple cases arrive at once, I sometimes find myself uncertain, should I treat a psychological trauma response, or consider a possible cardiac event?

What scares me is the thought that I may never feel like myself again. Life doesn't feel real to me anymore, yet I keep holding on to it.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me survive the unimaginable so far, with your support and empathy. It once made me feel alive. These days, I wish it still could. I still feel alone, even with you, because whatever strength I find is quickly consumed by the reality l'm living in.

I've just been busy being tortured, physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, under the weight of the most powerful militaries in the world.

It is not surprising how the U.S. military was able to save two of its own soldiers after their warplane was attacked, in an extremely dangerous place, against a powerful enemy. What is also not surprising is how they claimed it was impossible to save even a single child in Gaza, while tens of thousands were left to be killed, and while policies were enabled that left over a million children suffering through famine.

I cannot believe that after all the suffering and torture they have endured, they may be hanged in the end, and that it would be considered legal, while the world continues to remain silent. Two hundred lsraeli prisoners kept the world's attention. As for the approximately 9,500 Palestinian detainees, they are treated as if they are nothing to care about. But for us, this is sheer inhumanity. This is absolute injustice.

These days, I am haunted by nightmares; and once, I had four in a single sleep. I see the occupation chasing me, to kill me or to torture me. In one dream, I was fighting it. In two dreams, I dreamed that I was killed.

What will happen to us?

It's been raining heavily, and it's very cold. It is hurting all the way down to the bone and soul.

Last night, I cared for a deeply distressed patient. He was convinced he was having a heart attack, describing a burning sensation in his face and left arm. Clinically, everything was normal, except for his psychological suffering.

I said today that the emergency room felt like a conflict Zone, so many injured children, along with others suffering from traffic accidents and physical trauma

They targeted schools. We did too.

But they came with bombs. We came with hope and care.

They left behind dead children and broken hearts. We left children feeling a little more alive, with happier hearts.

This post needs as much sharing and reach as possible. Thank you.

Hello there. This is Dr. Ali, an emergency doctor. I am currently surviving a genocide. I have been here since the very beginning, trying to communicate the human pain, the truth, and the struggle for survival.

These days I feel devastated, drained of energy, hope, and life. It feels like the end of the world. I've felt this way many times before.

But even so, I decided to take photos and make a video of myself smiling at life

Living through days no human should ever have to endure, then moving into days that are less horrible, and then suddenly falling back into horror again, confuses the mind.

Living through days no human should ever have to endure, then moving into days that are less horrible, and then suddenly falling back into horror again, confuses the mind.

Is it okay to feel okay on the better days? Is it okay to feel broken on the worst ones? When I felt lighter, did that mean I forgot my losses? Or on the dark days, do I torture myself by overthinking, as if peace is a betrayal? Did I survive by allowing myself to dream of peace? And when war returned, did that mean I was stupid?

I didn’t always know what to do, but I gave my absolute best. I was a man. A dead man, trying to save the dying.

If there were no leaders who choose power over humanity, every child, those murdered and those who survived, would be living the childhood they deserve.

If there were no genocide, no occupation, I would be living my dreams. My family and friends would be living theirs, in peace, like everyone else living a normal life.

I'm back home. In one piece. And stil, it feels like the end of the world, my world, everyone's world here.

It hurts when people imagine me dead, when all l need is for them to believe that I will survive.

I witness what I witness during my shifts, then wake up wondering what has gone wrong with me, as if

Today, this person suffered burns over 100% of their body. It was completely prevent able. He was watched gasping his last breath, while his family desperately wished for him to survive.

This is me, and this is my path. Killing all of us will never bring them safety. Any place a Hamas member enters becomes "Hamas infrastructure" in the eyes of the army of Diabers.

They attack everything their fear touches. They erase as many lives as it takes to feel immortal.

I am 'abused' by war criminals and pedophiles. I am stuck in a traffic of hells. Every step carries struggle, along with a frustrating weight of pain and anger.

Thank you from the heart, for granting me this great honor, to be a reason warmth reached thousands of forgotten children in Al-Nuseirat camp.

This mission was one of the most sincere and deeply human experiences of my life.

I took this photograph today, after witnessing the massacre. I wanted to show you the moon in the sky, resting above the olive tree.

848 days