I survived my 24hr shift

I survived my 24-hour shift without painkillers, even though I was in pain the entire time. My pain is valid, it is human pain. But what feels even more valid is the pain of others.

For human beings, being forced to live in constant pain, without the space or the time to let your body rest, is beyond awful.

Having to search for a bed every time a patient arrives, someone who struggled just to make it to the hospital, is overwhelming beyond words. And witnessing human suffering every single day, that is beyond exhausting.

It is beyond sad when all you can feel, and all you can write about, is pain.

What happened to me is almost nothing compared to what has happened to so many others here. What humans can normally feel is just a drop in an endless ocean of suffering and torture.

The trauma is beyond severe; it cannot be measured. I will live my entire life carrying the memory of what has happened to my people, and I will never come close to comprehending the depth of suffering they have endured.

Back on track, at work.

I'm proud of my friends, Aboud and Elisa, and of myself, for having been able to help so many people. I look forward to being more impactful in my life, even though I was never taught how to accomplish big things, and in my mind, everything deserves to be seen as big.

I wanted to bring relief to everyone I met. I now know that this is impossible, yet I continue to resist my own pain and the forced feeling of hopelessness, so that I never lose the sense of urgency around basic human needs.