ياالله

Standing by the window and looking at what Gaza has become, it feels as though an apocalypse began a long time ago. Everything feels unbearably dark and devastating, It feels as if the end of everything is coming tonight.

This feeling is the result of a lifetime of genocide. It is the injustice of knowing that the people who hold power over my life do not care whether I live or die. I am not even a number to them. I do not exist in their minds or their hearts. I do not deserve even the smallest measure of human compassion in their eyes.

Humanity has not only failed me and my family; it has left us to be buried alive in the deepest darkness.

I will hate the moments when I begin to feel normal again, because I know they are only temporary. The darkness always returns, and with it comes the painful realization that none of this is going to end beautifully.

I used to feel whole, the way you do. I used to feel normal all the time. I used to believe that tomorrow would arrive carrying something better. Then I was handed a slow apocalypse, and ever since, I have been waiting for the end.

Many times today, I found myself out of breath simply because I was feeling intensely tense about one thing or another.

It takes us longer to get where we need to be. Everything requires more effort, and it leaves us fatigued, and depressed. Not a single part of our lives is free from struggle. Struggle has become our daily routine.

Day after day, year after year, we have survived in misery while others thrive and feel better about themselves.

How. does someone become a bad person? Perhaps they fail n the very first steps they take as children, and continue failing until the final steps they take before they die.

Almost all of the world's leaders are failures. Humanity, as a collective, has failed to be truly civilized. And that alone is enough to prove that. this world was never meant for those being erased by genocide.