I feel like hell

Hello everyone, I can no longer feel your love or your humanity toward me. I have lost all my trust in humanity. This is exactly how they dehumanized me. It feels unbearable; to be seen and to be loved, yet unable to feel it.

I feel like hell, and l am actually in hell as I write this, but it must be said.

The damage and loss that has occurred is irreversible. And for me, trying to find a way to run away from all of this and save my family feels harder than finding a way out of this world itself. To die in pain seems easier, more attainable, than to live with dignity.

I can't understand how some Americans who support Palestine can still say they're proud to be American. Proud of what? Of presidents who rain down hell on us? Of a country that fuels the fire? That kind of pride is nothing but pride in blood. You have a privileged life because the country you're proud of has destroyed ours. For your country it's a game, but for us it's hell; as simple as that.

One day, the world will regret failing us. It will pay a heavy price for abandoning us to this endless terror. Nowhere will be safe for any child as long as it is not safe for ours here. Nowhere will know peace as long as this genocide continues, as long as an entire nation is torn apart piece by piece.

This world is worse than hell: forgotten by God, or perhaps cursed by Him. It drives me mad that His mercy has taken too long to arrive. I doubt I will ever breathe, or do anything, without the suffocating weight of death pressing down on my chest, aching through my very being.

I wish I could rest in peace, Iike the hundreds torn apart and forced to leave this hell every day. Perhaps I should begin praying for that.

And if my death is inevitable, let it stain the conscience of this world, or shatter the silence that allows this horror to continue.