Sos, it’s raining now

sos; It's raining now. My world has already fallen apart.

And we are made to believe that resisting despair, injustice, and occupation is useless. Why? Because it never crossed the devil's mind to allow us simply to exist, to let us be, in peace. They have convinced the world, and its leaders, that we are theirs to kill and to torture. They have designed a plan in which our very survival becomes an endless tragedy.

I read to Aboud the news about the United States denying Palestinians entry. He asked, quietly, "Really? Why is nobody accepting us?" Aboud is expecting a baby boy, and the thought fills him with fear; fear of whether he will be able to provide his child with even the most basic needs.

For Gazan families, survival means enduring genocide and endless madness in a tent, in the freezing cold, for three winters, only to lose a newborn to the cold on a bitter night, or to lose a mother when a wall collapses onto her body under the force of the wind.

To beg the world for a merciful death, and never be granted even that.

I ask myself: am I resisting the irresistible, only for them to make me feel like a man gasping his final breaths and dreams, trying to ease the suffering of others while being attacked by my own thoughts, still fearing for my family and loved ones, still being hunted by what I have lived? Thoughts born of exhaustion, urging me to believe that even if my struggle eases some pain now, it will not save anyone from what is coming.

They are not planning to leave anyone whole or safe. Can you understand that? | believe they intend to continue terrorizing the world through us. We are the lesson they want the world to learn. We are the price paid for every sin and cruelty ever committed.

We are the gasping people. I am choked, breathing my last breaths, hoping that the final ones will not be as painful as the first.

And yet, fragments of my life before, old memories, and a few kind friends who still stand beside me, are what keep my sanity alive, reviving the small, buried hope that still survives in my heart.

Help us, please.

The warm hearts Nusierat's campaign's link is still in my bio.