i have so much to say
I have so much to say; nightmares, endless stories of endless suffering. There's a scream buried deep in my chest, and a voice that refuses to die. But now, more than ever, I believe that silence speaks louder than words. Our silence, not the world's. Because speaking about the darkness we live in, and the nightmare we keep retelling to the world...changes nothing.
We've done and said everything possible to prove that we urgently need to be saved. And maybe the only thing we truly failed at was convincing the world that we're asking for just one thing: not to die. Just.. not to be torn into pieces in cold blood. To let the nightmare end; and I let the dream live. And the dream was simple: to live, to see my family live, without a nightmare in which we are hunted and killed.
And yet... we survived; until now. Heartbroken. Exhausted. We were ordinary people. We still are. We love for as long as we live. And love dies when we do. Humanity is broken without our hearts. Language is empty without our minds. We are only human beings, after all. Not angels. No miracles for us. We're not mountains. We're human. And we remain the living proof of our humanity; and of the world's failure, and its cruelty. Because everything the world is living through feels irrelevant and distant to us. When we're struggling to survive the unsurvivable, just trying to find food for our families, trying to stay sane just long enough to save as many lives as we can; every small detail here is already draining every last functioning cell in our bodies. We don't have the energy, or the time, to care about your lives... or your details.
So l’m sorry, but I'm not sorry that I can't keep up with the world. Because asking someone who is dying; or barely surviving death, to pay attention, to hold on for you..is unfair. And inhumane.
I never got the chance to love the world. The timing was never right to show you how much love and tenderness I carry in my heart for you. But if l survive, you'll feel it. And you'll love me for it.
