Walk in the darkness

Walk in the darkness. Close your eyes. Don't open them until you hit something, or something hits you; try it, and see how it feels. That's how I feel, while my eyes are wide open; only thousand times worse. After coincidentally surviving a genocide, I should be living freely now. My family should never have to fear going through another round of genocide again.

I should be studying for my medical 'PLAB 2' exam, but instead, I'm here writing this, overwhelmed by utter hopelessness.

Living, and even dying, in Gaza is far easier than leaving it. People here have literally been dying while waiting, in pain and desperation, to leave, for treatment, for study, or simply for a chance at a better life.

If it's worth mentioning, this siege is nothing nevw. I was delayed from starting medical school in Egypt for months because the crossing was closed for no reason. After my first year, returning to Gaza cost me another year. I spent nearly six consecutive years away from my family and friends, my heart cried everyday longing for my mother

As I write this, my mother just came into my room to tell me that a bus carrying people was targeted a short while ago in Gaza City; and she added that the war has started again.

Those who think only of themselves are cowards. The one who lives solely for himself experiences the shallowest life, and does not deserve to be born. And the one who lives for everyone else is often the one left to endure the deepest suffering, until the very end.

A released Gazan hostage said their suffering was a thousand times worse than ours. I believe him. And as I listened last night to my friends' testimonies about what those hostages endured, I was in total shock, and what remains hidden is an infinity of torture far worse.

To our enemies, we are all "Hamas." My friends believe that the genocide hasn't ended, and it will become even worse soon. And what I want to tell our enemies is this: I despise every one of them, and I will never, ever accept this injustice.