I am worth the world. My friends and colleagues are worth the world too.

I am at the hospital, surviving another busy long shift, feeling like dead.

It's already the seventh of October; two hellish years of this damned genocide, and we are still here, somehow, still smiling.

I was at the beach with my friend Aboud, who brought me one of his jackets to wear. We were waiting there for the Sumod flottila, until the occupation arrived, terrifying everyone, stealing baby formula, and continuing to kill, starve, and deepen the children's suffering.

Another unbearable shift.

This morning, my beloved aunt's husband, Dr. Assad Jouda, died from bleeding in his brain. Dr. Assad had already lost his son Mohammed, his brother Dr. Saeed Jouda, and his nephew Majd, the son of Dr. Saeed, all martyrs, in this ongoing onslaught.

If we all had been killed, it would have been better than this. It would have been more merciful than this.

I wish I died before all this. I wish I never lived, to witness these endless horrors.

Share this. Add me if you haven't yet. Hear me; because l am risking my life, my soul, everything, just to make the world see what's happening.

I am not a hero. I am terrified, terrorized; as sit on my couch, watching a drone gets closer to my house.

I feel unbearably helpless before my dying patients. Countless times, I' ve failed to piece together the shattered bodies of children.

Today, we've already seen nearly 500 patients; some sick, others wounded.

It was mental torture.

I couldn't focus on everyone, though I tried my best not to let anyone die. But every time I tried, it felt impossible.

I scanned two children at the same time; both had internal abdominal bleeding.

This is worse than hell. And here I am, after two years of living through a genocide, still writing to the world about how deadly its silence is; and how painful our death has been.

Update: I'm home. I walked back through the same street that was targeted yesterday.

Am I even important on this earth?

My memory is fading, slowly, endlessly. I can't remember what happened a second ago, or even a minute ago. I forget my patients; the ones who were just in front of me. The moment they leave, they vanish from my mind.

I am a Gazan doctor, and I have seen everything. I have witnessed it all with my own eyes. I am not a hero, but those I treated and healed from their wounds, they are the true heroes.

I live in constant, deep pain. Yet I am not even suffering from a painful condition. So what about those who are?

If someone had described to me something like what I lived through today, and told me it was real, I would never have believed them.

In the last hours of my 24-hour shift in the ER, as I sat writing down the patients' stories I witnessed today, on what is nearly the thousandth day of this endless genocide, the crimes continued.

I am recognized tonight. How joyful life is now! if recognition could actually keep me alive

Thank you for the recognitíon. Thank you for the solidarity, and for truly feeling with us.

What is life to you? Life?

For me, my family, and my people, it is nothing but a question we keep asking, and never truly answered. What is life, if not endless waiting, for a piece of bread, for suffering to ease, before a cruel death finally arrives.

Today's shift was beyond horrible, not just because l've been feeling unbearably sick, both physically and mentally, but because patients were everywhere. On beds, on the ground, in the courtyard; standing, sitting, lying on the floor

Hello everyone, I can no longer feel your love or your humanity toward me. I have lost all my trust in humanity. This is exactly how they dehumanized me. It feels unbearable; to be seen and to be loved, yet unable to feel it.

I feel like hell, and l am actually in hell as I write this, but it must be said.

This is what hell looks like right now from my house.

A nearby home, full of people, was just targeted. I can still smell the dust and debris. Ambulances rushed in to carry the injured, while relatives ran so quickly toward the hospital; as if arriving sooner could save anyone. They were running from death, straight into death. My local news channel reported that the entire family was torn apart, reduced to pieces.

I’m going crazy

Every single detail in this video, in this life is just heartbreaking.

Pray for Gaza.

Pray for the children, the mothers, and the elderly. Entire families are staying in the open, forced to sleep under the sky and on the bare ground.

These are the darkest, most unbearable days since the beginning of the genocide.

Today felt like one of the days of the world's end for us. It was the worst day so far; and tomorrow will be even worse

Here, your life does not belong to you. If you walk too fast, you could be killed.

I think I realized during my shift last night that I have a disability deep within me. As if l am no longer alive. Most of my time, most of my seconds; I am absent, lost in endless nothingness.